What is this?

Why "The foot of Time"? What is the foot of time?
It has been asked before, and apparently, still being asked.
what my blog really is about and what's going on in my mind?
Plain and simple, directly to the point, "The foot of time" is what's going on in my mind. Miscellaneous as it is.
I decided to name it that, because I know, I think, that my perspectives on different aspects are still subject to change and different more rendition of influences. As time goes by with me, we walk, briskly. We gallop. We run. As we pass though, I wish to keep it recorded so when time comes, I'll look back and just take a big big laugh on my own thoughts and writings. Or maybe, when I look back, I'll find awe in my own writings. Either-way, when we wish to look back, there would be some webpage we can call ours and distinguish a clearer rather than strange and obscured picture of how we were.
Does this answer my answer?

De-uling

paulit ulit

ang pagpindot

ang pag hihintay

sa pabalik balik

mong inikot

tuldok

tuldok

tuldok...

may uling

ang utak ng makina

na siyang kataas taas

ng halaga


binayaran kang

kalahati

ng kalahati ng libo

at sa pag-pasok

sa iyo'y

mas malaki ang perwisyo

aba't ang presyo ng uling ay

ganito ninenegosyo?


Bitin-

napatutulala

nayayamot

nakasisira ng umaga


ang iyong silbi'y magpadali

ng sistema

ngunit de-uling

at nais na kitang

ikundena, at idemanda.

bow.
Ito ang mga panahong nagtutuos kami ni PUP.EDU.PH  (S.I.S)  para makapag enroll.
!@$#&*#%)@!&#%)_@@##$#$@!# matapos ka na please? kahapon ka pa ha.

:)) la lang.

Modus Bente Singko Operandi

Isang pasimple at mapagtagong porma ng paninikil.
Tipong wala kang ibang magagawa...
wala kang options... wala kang magagawa... wala rin akong magagawa.
'tipong ganu'n.
Modus Bente Singko Operandi-
Ito ay makabagong pang uuto at pangungupit.


Bumili ako sa isang establishment: ang halaga ng nabili ko ay P49.15, at ibinayad ko ang isang daang piso (P100). Mahaba-haba ang pila at mabilis ang pangyayari sapagkat madaling kumilos ang kahera. Ibinalot ang binili ko, idinikit ang resibo, ibinigay saakin ang sukling singkwenta pesos at hinarap na ang susunod na kostumer.
Teka. Singkwenta ang aking sukli? tahimik kong tanong sa sarili ko. Singkwenta lang?
Hindi na ba kapansin pansin ang halaga ng 85 centavos? o kaya'y kahit 75 cents lang?
Palibhasa'y binubulag tayo ng kababaang halaga ng piso kaya'y nawawalan na ng halaga ang bente singko.
Ngunit laking tuwa ng mga kapitalista ang ganitong modus na kunwari'y wala na silang bentesingko sa drawer na isusukli! Hindi lamang isang beses nangyari saakin ito. At sigurado, hindi lamang saakin nangyari. At marami pang ganitong pangyayari ang magaganap.


Sasabihin ng kahera: "Ma'am, kulang ho ako ng seventy five cents." o di kaya'y "Sir, kulang ho ako ng beinte-singko"  at dahil sa pag-aapurang udyok ng sitwasyo'y oo na lamang ang ang sambit mo upang makaalis na.
Laking tuwa ito ng nakatatanggap sa usaping pera! Sa isang daang kostumer niya sa isang araw na bawat isa'y may kulang na beinte-singko (o ilang singko pa man) ay may twenty five (25) pesos siya sa kada araw na galing sa pasimpleng paninikil, o mas malaki pa! At sa isang linggo ay may 150 (o mahigit pa) siyang dagdag kita na wala man lang nababawas sa kanyang produkto!
Nagugulangan ka!
Sabihin man nating:
"Sus. Wag nang magdamot at ipaubaya na iyan sakanila. Beinte-singko lang naman..."
 lang naman. lang naman.Beinte-singko LANG NAMAN.
Maaaring dahilan ngunit  hindi ko gagamiting dahilan ang katotohanang ang pinagsama-samang beinte-singko ay katumbas ng libo o milyong piso. 
Ngunit masasabi ko na lamang na noon:
Noon kasi mayroong donation box sa gilid ng cashier
na kung kaya mo at kung gusto mo ay maaari kang maghulog nang bukal sa puso upang makatulong sa may kapansanan o naghihirap.
Lumipas ang panahon ay pinalitan ito ng tip box na ang pakinabang sa bawat hulog ay pang miryenda ng mga staff at cashier attendant.
Hanggang sa mawala na ang mga box-box na 'yon sa mga cashier post at awtomatik na:
"kulang po ako ng beinte singko, fifty cents, seventy-five, sir...."

PAANO KAYA kung sabihin kong:  " Ah. Kulang ba... Sige Ok, di naman ako nagmamadali. Hintayin ko na lang dito hanggang mapunan mo yung kulang..."

Lalabas kaya ang totoo na mayroon naman pala silang barya? Na pangingitil lamang ang kunwari'y wala? Magugulat kaya sila? Iisipin ba nilang "kuripot" ang pagiging marunong sa pera at umiiwas sa pasimpleng beinte singkong modus operandi nila?


:-)

Satirically. Kwentuhan about one of my one-day-city-wandering

Its a good thing I drifted from a common "wherever-my-feet-takes-me" from our house to Robinson's mall 'til here, in McDonald's. I am here, sitting, resting my exhausted legs, taking in the cold air from the dampened air-conditioner, and contemplating to all that's happening.
I remember a few two days or so, I got home late and was welcomed by my sister's questioning look. Apparently, she informed that she have answered a phone call from Global agency, asking if Anna Pastor (me) was at home and they're going to confirm my availability to accept a slot in their company for a summer job. Surprised, I realized I'm only 17 years old and they're taking effort to hire me? That's something already.
Next, I passed by National Bookstore and was overwhelmed by the huge red sign-age dangling a SALE on selected items. I bought one and went upstairs to check on more books, especially to visit my favorite shelves on classic literature. Even more overwhelmed, I saw my wish-listed books all present there! From Sherlock Holmes up to all the bantam collections on Hugo, Fyodor Dostoevsky, Dickens etc! I started telling each books "You, I'll have you soon, and also you.. and you.. you too and.." and another part of my conscience popped to say "You really got to get a summer job!"
I scrammed.
Walked out the mall and at the sidewalks of Ortigas Ave., I saw hundreds of corporate employed  men and women, all wearing corporate attire. Long sleeved, short sleeved polos, slacks, watches of different brand, labeled shoes, brief cases and ties...etc. I even got entertained by silently naming what brand or from where they bought what they're wearing since I can distinguish some of it.
I then passed by oriental square building and the facade was over-crowded by its employees. I found out that the commotion was due to a fire which occurred for some reason, I didn't care to know. But its remarkable how they were kept entertained by the fire fighters as they ostentatiously fire their extinguishers.
I kept walking til I reached El Pueblo and settle myself in McDonald's.
There I was. Happened to seat beside the employment manager who was casually interviewing young men in a not-so professional way, for they congregate in a place associating with the tables for customers. The woman, perhaps the interviewer, spoke in such a way as if she wanted to intimidate his young interviewees. I rolled my eyes, stood up and went to the front desk area to order my meal. Surprised, again, the familiar crew faces I'm used seeing there was gone and replaced by the different, more attractive elite faces. Then I remembered the recent McDonald's commercial wherein two girls kept coming back to McDonald's Drive-thru because the crew was handsome.
I was puzzled. Do employment agencies now see basis on social background and facial value? Is the McDonaldization stepping on a higher, stricter phase? Will these young men, (including me, If I get a summer job) regret entering into the reality of society at a young, fresh age? Is the... -  I lost track. I heard a lady (who was a mcdo crew) shout behind my back "Welcome to McDonald's Sir, Ma'am!" - and she proclaimed it in a very accented tone as if she have took days practicing its intonation. I sighed and retraced my line of thought. Oh! the corporate employees- did they all graduate college? How many of them got the job just because they got backers? How many of them were able to experience being irregular students? How many of them were deliberately able to get a uniformed UNO (1) all throughout their transcript of records? Any Dean's listers? Any philosophy majors? Is a prompt good grades, really the basis for a good job? Is the corporate world really the ones to tag "good jobs"? Are the hundreds of corporate employees which were uniformed in a corporate polos, slacks and ties Free? Or don't they know what's a crap society's cancer is becoming as it eludes liberty in our lives?
Sigh. How annoying question I mustered. I wish I was a goddess to answer all the incalculable queries I laid. Oh wait- I am a goddess! Demigoddess for that matter  :- )
I'll just bite this away to my burger and drink my monster cokefloat to ease away truth from my mind... like what all people do. Ignore the reality. Satirically.

HILONG- TALILONG

Tula-tulaan :-) Alam kong paminsan lamang ako sumulat ng mga entry gamit ang wikang Filipino, (lalo na ang wikang tagalog) ngunit heto, isang entry na ginawa ko habang tulala sa kawalan noong kakain ako sa makdo. Heto, pag tiisan ninyo. 


Sa ligalig na taglay ng puso
pusturang-pustura sa masusulyap ko
nangangapa, apuhap sa milagro
kapares ng isang musmos na henyo
nakatukod sa kwebang layu-layo


May udyok ng bighani
may pag limot na balani
paghinto at dili-dili
pagpikit, pagtalikod at pagkukunwari
sa isang igtad, giba ang sayo'y guni guni


May pag kunot sa noo
at sa dibdib ay pag paso
dulot ng lagablab ng pagkahumaling sa'yo
isang pinong saklolo
pampawi ng pagkahilo
sa paghihingalong dulot mo


Tuloy-tuloy ang urong-sulong
umupo't-pumukaw sa alulong
ng isang asong nakakulong
hiling niya'y kalayaan,
hiling ko'y makasama mo.


Kung sa isang enigma'y aking maaalis,
iyong emosyong niig sa giid,
Antala man ng iyong gayuma...


...mawawala sa timbre ng kawangis na bula
Ngunit, alanganin sa sakbat mong saakin ay tuwa.

Human Nature: The things not hopeless, but you just can't.

I have been very much bothered. Disturbed by the imperfection of our human nature. This ain't ranting. Far from it. In fact, more like a narration, an informative declaration. You'll see.


I first met crime and Punishment, but punishment left and made me examine crime: eyes to eyes; mind to mind, as we dug in deep channels for its root. There in congregation, I heard about this false materialism and his vast influence on mankind. I examined how to avert him and mark end upon his influence on my people but I found myself and the world we live in to be unreal. This is indeed a philosophical embarrassment according to my friend Reginald Allen who's friend spoke to him about this in a name I shall not say but causes boiled on refutation upon Parmenides. Much to my humble heart, I did not feel embarrassment for I claim of no importance yet, but only, that of pity and astonishment on why I exist, and all others, with our potentiality.


All suddenly, I become to think we are stuck in prison cell. But I'm the only one who have thought of it, so its reasonable that its only I who's a prisoner.
Only death then, will be my bail on this account...

Crime & Punishment in brief  - Punishment is the answer for justice. The retribution for crime. But why do my people commit crime anyway? Is it due to poverty? Most people believe it is! Because impoverish families have no other way inorder to survive, they had no choice but to cling onto the blade of rusty and dirty world of criminals- in order to survive. Society then, together with poverty, pushes them to crime.


But 'nay. Even well-off, rich, wealthy, affluent families commit crime and injustice. Only- they have the money to slap in the faces of the courts and litigators to renounce their innocence. That's why prison rows has very few person from well-off families. The thing is, its not poverty which is the cause of crime and injustice. To put it this way, 
X came from a poor family and steals for a living.
Y came from a rich family and steals from his parents in order to gas up his newly bought car, so that he and his girlfriend Z can go out for movies tonight.
It is obvious now, that though very different situations, they both committed a wrong thing.


Why did they do it then?
False consciousness, false materialism, ignorance... You choose. But either way, its what I meant.
There is something wrong in society which makes man do wrong. There is something in man, who forms and runs the society. No matter how many revolution and reforms, things are still going to be imperfect. My friends, many of whom wants to be a reformer, if not liberators. But I say, as long as were in this world, I'm not saying its hopeless, only, that it is absurd. Its not only the government nor the secret organizations whom we should point fingers to, not only to other people, not only to ourselves! But the way human nature is. Things actually happen, if not always, for its not proven by science, well most of the time, due to necessity. And how do you propose to avert it? Its a huge game. Life is too short to conquer it. As you are young, you explore for you know little about the world; you study it then. As you are old, you finally have sufficient experience and knowledge, you see it and wishes to conquer it. Then you actually have the idea now on how to do it, to end it, but the problem now is, that you're too old and is about to perish.
Why this is- the nature of things!


Now, my metanoia said to me in thought, that a man is not in prison as long as he does not detest his situation. But a man who is in prison, is he even though free, still, detest where he is.


I have discussed in my 1st entry (my extremist viewpoint) that I'm angry at the world. And I obscured my thoughts once more that when a sociology major rebutted that I'm not angry- just indifferent.
Now I'm stating again, I'm free in the sense that I'm not in a cell but I can go anywhere in Manila when I please. But I'm a prisoner in a way that I want to make a change and avert the imperfection but can't.
Only death then, will be my bail on this account.

Sane Love.

I'll love you
like a speed racer toward his speed
like the leprechaun bragging his clover in green
like Paris marking his tower
like a baby throwin fits in his shower


I'll love you anywhere, even in Mars
I love you I can take away your scars
I love you,
to the point of sanity.


I love you to the edge of the gun
I love you even when there's no gun
I'll love you all my days
I'll love you at any phase
I'll love you- at any place
I'll love you for a cause, Oh! even when there's no cause!
The supply of a man like you is scarce


Indeed,
I love you.
to the point of insanity.
:-)


(P.S: This is for Chuck Pahlaniuk, my fiction; the motivation of well-done art.)

Conformity & Judgment.

"It is important to note the difference between not having money and participating in the cultural norms that some poor people follow."
-Just Part Of The Universe Blogger


This is true, though. Since I study in a state University, I do conform to what people wear sometimes.
Its not always because I don't have the cash to buy flashy clothes, I do have some flashy clothes.
But due to a sense of conformity, I wear even the trashy clothes I wear at home in attending school just to fit in.


And I believe a great number of people aside from myself do the same. That's always a good reason to consider why people should not be judged by the clothes they wear. Especially if its labeling. But, partly though, its also our fault why people misjudge us sometimes.


I don't know.
lazy arguments.

Everyone is a moon, and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody.


- Mark Twain


I'm a bit puzzled about MY dark-side-which-I-never-show-to-anybody.
Maybe it hasn't shown itself to me yet either.

"Death must be so beautiful.
To lie in the soft brown earth, with the grasses waving above one's head, and listen to silence.
To have no yesterday, and no to-morrow.
To forget time, to forgive life, and to be at peace."


-Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar.




Death is to be, I believe, very beautiful. Setting aside the three thousand times of transmigration process of which a hundredth thousand people find amusing, I believe death to be serene and peaceful. Not in a view of your body being rotten in the soils of the earth, not your body being eaten by mud and the crust; its happier to think, nonetheless, of death concerning more of that on the soul than of material, earthly matters.
Death as I perceive, is a rest of everlasting bliss and peaceful harmony which every mortal being achieves and goals to attain. To be at peace. To die... Is beautiful.
- Anna Pastor.

Before you talk, listen. 
                 Before you react, think.
                                   Before you spend, earn. 


Before you criticize, wait. 
                 Before you pray, forgive.
                                   Before you quit, try, again.

Tragedy of a Writer.

Sometimes when I write,

I feel my mind cluttering with ideas.

An idea veers to the side

And other more swerve to the other side

Appear, disappear and reappear, often at times.

Then I get that difficulty in putting my ideas into words,

Obscuring, then, my train of thought

Into a distorted incoherent pattern of banister

Sometimes when I write,

I feel a suppressed emotion.

If it’s a cheery thought,

I submerge into a day dream and smiles.

Most of the time though,

Its pity and frustration.

I feel anxious to cry.

As if my chest is to force a detonation

and tears are to burst out

but for no reason, they can't.

It's a painful feeling when I write sometimes.

Then I think and deliberate,

Either to continue writing

Or abort this pursuit and affair

And just scuttle along

Neglect all previous thought.

Once, I dared to write

And break free from my dithering self.

Again, I obscured the thoughts

And blurted it as if to speak bluntly

Not minding whether the reader will react 

Or not feel the appetite for my words.

Another time,

I neglected the thoughts

And decided to just write it down later.

But the pain twinge even more.

It hurt that I can't recall the idea and had just let it go

So I write though it’s painful.

I'm not the best of the writers,

I only speak out what's on my mind

Without flowery metaphors,

No coherence nor rhyming words

if ever, with hopeful heart,

it would make sense.

If not now, then in next to no time.

Still I write and blaze my thoughts.

Here, I write.

"To the persevering mortals,
the immortals are swift."
-  Zoroaster

Jaft.

People we deem "genius" are but brave men.
We all have that glimpse of the brilliant flicker.
But we do not trust ourselves sufficiently to pursue that luminous ray of idea.

Ralph Waldo Emerson puts it:

"God will not have his work manifest by cowards"

And in simpler words, what we mean by cowards - are those people who have such regard on what people may say.   And from now on let's act to differ. Speak to differ. There's more to us that they have seen. There's more to crazy things than just illusions. There's more to ideas. There's something more we ought not neglect, even unaustere things.

First Entry in Filipino Medium: My Extremist Self- View Point

Galit ka ba sa mundo?

 -- tanong ko sa sarili ko isang araw. Napa-"uh-oh" na lang ako dahil baliw ba yung ganu'n? Kasi ang weird ko yata. Halos wala akong gustong tangkilikin na nag-eexist ngayon. Halos wala akong gustong kausapin. Halos wala akong idol. Halos wala akong pakialam.

Galit ba ako sa mundo? Siguro Oo, weird ako. Siguro Oo, galit ako.
Paano ba naman, ang dami nating alam, hindi naman kailangan; ang dami nating feeling natin ay kailangan, hindi naman natin alam, hindi pala kailangan. Ang dami nating pinoproblema, hindi pala talaga problema.
Ang dami nating gusto, ang dami nating ginagawa, ang dami nating alam, ang dami nating pag-aari at maipagmamalaki! Pero mas madami pa rin... ang walang katuturan.

Ay eto. May ikekwento lang ako. Isang araw kasi, naging college student ako. Hindi ko naman sinasadya pero nag-iba ang environment ko. Sinadya ko man, hindi ko naman ginusto. Pero ganu'n talaga. Maraming bagay ang hindi natin alam ay madami, at lalong dumadami.

Isang araw ulit, nagkakagulo kami kasama ang iba ko pang mga kaklase at namomroblema sa mga rekwayrments sa school na dapat ipasa. Buong gabi akong nag-online. Nagreklamo kami buong gabi. Kesho ang hirap, ang bilis ng deadline, ang stupid, ang nakakatamad, etcetera. Ala una ng umaga hanggang alas tres ng umaga, natapos ko 'yung "problema" ko.
Hay zeus naman. Hindi pala siya problemang talaga. Walang katuturan yung pamomroblema ko, di ba?

Anyway, Politics & Governance nga pala ang paborito kong asignatura. Pero hindi ko siya gusto. Hindi pa ayos ang pulitika natin sa ngayon. Anyway, 'yung professor ko nga pala du'n, ANG GALING! Ang daming sinasabi!

Naalala ko tuloy yung isang "fact" daw kuno na,
Halos isang milyong salita daw ang nakokonsumo o nasasalita ng isang babae sa isang araw. At ang nakokonsumo o nasasalita ng lalaki naman ay kalahati lang ng sa babae.

Ewan ko lang ah. Babae kasi ako. Lalaki kasi 'yung professor ko. At kung totoo yung "fact" daw kuno na 'yun, hm. Ewan ko lang talaga. Sawayin na natin yung fact daw kuno na yun at i-label natin iyon bilang isang "assertion" kuno.

Anyway, balik du'n sa prof ko. Nabanggit niya madalas ang tungkol sa kung gaano karami ang nabasa na niyang libro. Gabundok daw 'yun at kayang punuin ang buong classroom namin. Edi Okay! Di ba? Matalino 'yung propesor! Ang swerte swerte namin!




Akala ko lang 'yun. Sa dami kasi ng sinasabi niya, marami ring mali.
(Parang ang talino ko? Ako alam ko ang tama? O alam ko nga ba?)

Heto. Tunghayan mo ang isa sa isandaang kowteysyon na nakuha ko sa speech niya:

"...the values of our lives are deteriorating. We should just understand the society as it is now. Hindi lahat nakukuha sa tama, minsan, kailangan ng baluktot!"

Sapul.
Naalala ko na naman. Maraming "mature" na tao na ang narinig kong nagsabi na habang bata pa daw, ay punong-puno ng ideal values at idealism ang utak natin. Pero pag pasok mo sa buhay na nagtatrabaho ka na at independent ka na, at "mature ka na", mawawala yang idealism na yan. Sana lang daw talaga wag mawala ang idealism  sa amin.

Sana nga.
Konektado dito, ang pag-contradict nito sa "the problems of the youth are..." phrases.
Ang mga kabataan naman pala kasi ang ideal at fresh. At iba na talaga ang depinisyon natin ng mature na tao.

Straight to the tuldok, ang problema ko lang sa prof ko, ay kung bakit sa dami ng alam niya, alam niya ang dapat, alam niya kung ano ang maganda, alam niya kung ano ang nangyayari, alam niya na may problema ang sanlibutan, alam niya ang kaunting sulusyon na maiaambag niya... ay bakit hindi niya isapraktika ang alam niya at, kahit na kakaiba sa gawain ng iba, kahit na iniisip niyang "hindi siya magsusurvive", ay, why not dare to make a change.

Kasi sayang naman 'yung mga alam niya.






Paborito ko pa rin 'yung prof na 'yun. In fact, paborito niya rin ako. Pero hindi ko masasabing gusto ko siya at ang pagiging propesor niya. At alam niya na ipinost ko siya bilang halimbawa dito sa entry ko na ito. Alam niya yan. Ang sitwasyon kasi niya, ay hindi lang sa kanya nag-aapply.
Sa madaming tao yun. At pwede ring, sa buong mundo. Kaya heto, oo. Galit nga yata ako sa mundo.
Galit ako sa mundo. Siguro galit ako sa mundo kasi fresh at may idealism pa ko. Kailan kaya mawawala 'yun at magiging "matured" ako?